It's a Bittersweet Symphony, This Life: Farewell England

My last Friday here in Worcester. In fact today was my last full day here. I am spending my final weekend in London with a friend. London has always been my European dream city, and seeing as I didn't get to see enough of it the first time, I must go back once more before returning home to the states. Which is approaching rather quickly.

I go home Monday. Weird.

I have been looking forward to going home. There are certain customs and little things about America that I miss. Like stores that stay open all the time. Or how American drivers have to yield to pedestrians. And let's not forget the food. Oh how I've missed Mexican restaurants, free refills on drinks, and homemade cooking. The food is something I'm definitely looking forward to.

But these are really shallow reasons, aren't they? Surely I could eventually adjust to the ways of life over here. I could plan my schedule so I make it the stores before they close. I could get use to carrying spare change in case I need to pay to use the restrooms. And I'm sure my taste buds would eventually crave potatoes with every meal, and my love for Mexican food would develop into a love for Indian cuisine. If given the right amount of time, I'm sure I could love living here in England.

But there more reasons as to why I miss home.

I miss my boyfriend. He's probably the main reason I am looking forward to returning home on Monday. Being over here is wonderful, but missing the person you love is a difficult task to go along with it. No matter how much I delve into this country, I'm always missing him, and in the back of my mind I count down the days and hours until I get to see him again.

I miss my family. I can't wait to give them the souvenirs I bought for them and tell them all about England. I would like to think that after my six-week stay here, perhaps I'll inspire my parents and my sister, Julie, to make a trip to Europe someday. After Beth went to France last fall, I realized how enjoyable visiting Europe could be. I'm happy to say it lived beyond my expectations.

I miss my friends. I miss my pets. I miss driving (and driving on the right side of the road). I miss sleeping in my own bed, waking up to the smell of coffee in the morning, making late-night runs to Kroger for midnight snacks. In a nutshell, I miss my life.

There are students here that have fallen in love with England and the mere thought of going home is more than depressing. They feel as if they belong here. They love the people, the place, the opportunities available here that you can't find in the United States. They've enjoyed their trip to the fullest, and dread the fact that it is now coming to an end.

I admire them and I sympathize with them, for I know how they feel. The feeling they have for going home is the same feeling I have for staying here. I've realized, no matter how much I enjoy England, or perhaps just Europe in general, I am an American and America is where I belong. I like the British, and there are certain things about this about this place I wish American would adapt. But for once in my life, I'm not bent on complaining about my home country. Instead I've realized how much I've missed it, how much I appreciate it, and how grateful I will be when I return to it. I really cannot wait for the moment when my feet touch American soil again.

As much as I am looking forward to going home though, I do feel this bittersweet pain for leaving England. Worcester has become a second home to me. I've gained an appreciation for literature, and am coming home with a long list of books I can't wait to get my hands on. Along with reading, I again have this strong appetite to write, something I was direly missing at the beginning of the summer. I think London is a fantastic city and I love the beautiful English countryside. I remember a few years back I had a dream I was in England; I lived in this little cottage in the middle of a giant green field. Since that dream I had been dying to come see the countryside for what it really is. My dream did not fail me.

I'll miss taking the train to random cities. I'll miss all the history you can find here. I'll miss teatime and their delicious scones. I'll miss the Malvern hills in the distance, and I'll miss the occasional English rain. Just as there are a lot of little things about home I miss, I can think of a thousand little things I'll miss about England.

And last but not least, I'll miss my BSU Worcester family. I'll miss my small literature class. I'll miss going on random trips to the city centre. I'll miss traveling with them and hanging out with them. But before I get too sad, I'm grateful that all but one I will see back at Ball State. Still, I know it'll never be the same.

Today we had a final goodbye party thrown for us by the University of Worcester. The mayor showed up, the governor showed up, the vice president from Ball State showed up, and the list of important people who made their presence goes on. While I enjoyed this beautiful little party they had thrown for us (complete with teatime and sparkling white wine), there was one part in particular that stood out to me. I can't remember who said this, but someone said, "Studying abroad is life changing."

At first this seemed just like a cheap cliché to say, for there are so many events in life we can consider life changing. But then I began to think about it and I realized the truth in those words. Coming to England wasn't just another vacation. Coming here exposed me to another country, another way of life. It affected my relationships with people back home, with people here. It created memories, both good and bad, that I'll never forget. I feel like I've grown from this trip. Things that bother me back home I barely thought about over here, and when I did think of them I realized how small those issues seemed to be. I would like to think that when I come home I'll be a little more mature, a little wiser, and a little humbler.

I will never forget the time I spent here. I know that even though I'll return to England again someday, it'll never be the same. And after all the wonderful things that happened on this trip, I wouldn't want it to be. For this was a once in a lifetime experience, and it truly was life changing.